Tommy Girl


“reminds me of the 1990s”

“This is a 90s masterpiece for the youth.”


“I have it for 7 years and wanted it 5 years before then.”

“One night a guy was standing next to me at a bar and he turned to me and said “I have to tell you this, whatever you are wearing is amazing, it works so well with your chemistry I want to have sex with you right here”.”


“Why did I feel like I was the one chasing you?”

“close my eyes, here I am sucking you in through my nostrils again between your breasts on your heart beat.”

“”gifted to me by my mom for becoming a “woman”.”

“I used to spray it on everything including my backpack for school and all of my stuffed animals in my room.”

“Maybe all the 16 year old girls who wore it found that their prepubescent male friends loved the smell.”

“My friend used to share this with me back in middle school.”

“I sprayed some on a t-shirt I gave to my sweetheart’s six year old daughter and they both loved it.”

“My mother-in-law bought me Tommy Girl when I was pregnant and it was the only smell that I could stand.”

“I am instantly taken back to the days of Titanic craze and Hanson.”



“easy to be loved by women”

“pulls compliments from the opposite sex”

“the females around you will appreciate you”

“My partner wont even let me wear it unless she out with me in case it grabs attention.”


“smells like every douchebag bouncer”

“80per cent of ladies like if not love it”


“imagine overgrown, nude, dirty man with wild eyes that came out from the forest.”


“high-octane, corporate-designed masculinity”

“like Hollywood chlorohyll chewing gum.”


JOOP! Homme



“pink sunsets, rooftop parties, candy, fruit punch, visiting prostitutes in the windows in Amsterdam”

“for the guy who doesn’t mid wearing a pink, I mean salmon coloured polo shirt”

“EDIT: Compliment received in restaurant 11-03-18


“I shudder at the idea of bringing him along for coffee or going to church.”

“I’m sure a lot of chicks got banged by guys who wore this stuff.”

“asked one girl about the rating from 1 to 10, she said 11…”


“If you’re 17 and want to pull a bird in the smoking area of a dingy nightclub or pool room this stuff is for you. If you’re 33 nd make the mistake of wearing this to work, expect to be accosted by HR for workplace grooming.”

“the old school clubs where the music was loud and the dance floors were packed.”

“You danced until you are dripping with sweat and then take a seat and fan your shirt.”



Boss Bottled Intense



“like Apple Pie, but so masculine!”

this is so good it makes me want to cry

[warning: maybe it’s in the girl’s memory somehow]

[maybe it’s in the girl’s memory somehow]


Daisy Eau So Fresh


“delicate stems emerging from the thawing earth commingling with a cool floral breeze that carries only the fetal yawns of newborn flowers”


“guess me and my brief love were more of an infatuation after all”


“took me on a trip back to my old neighbourhood where I grew up and I would catch whiffs of the purple violets in a neighbour’s garden”


“early ’00s flashbacks of dousing ourselves in body spray and applying butterfly glitter clips before going to hang out at the mall”

“Ah, what we do for love”


Black Orchid


“she comes across a man who’s dark good looks slowly pull her in; he kisses her deeply, slowly moving her stockings from her garters and rubs his hands over her flawless legs.”


“The desert sun had certainly left its trace; but the resulting wrinkles only added depth to the chiseled canvas.”

“I wanna kiss you in Paris, I wanna hold your hand in Rome”

“I have a highly sensual personality but this just pulls me over!”


“No monsters, no unclean bodyparts.”

“I just get some kind of purple velvety hedonist atmosphere, maybe a party Lord Byron and his friends had…fur, oriental rugs, fancy foods and nubile bodies.”

“a dark forest at night, thick with mist, the moon full and bright.”

“Her lover finally arrives and they make passionate love, their bodies glistening with sweat as they utter eternal love.”


Creed Aventus


“the scent trail of an alpha male among betas and omegas”

[decries empathy as a vestige of weakness to be bred out like a recessive gene]

an imperial quality that is approachable but subtly reminds you the man wearing it probably determines your destiny.”


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